What The Hell Happened To Tyra Banks Tree Trunk Thighs?

Tyra Banks ex model turned TV Host, has hit back at paparazzi pics and articles in the press about her recent weight gain. Tyra who admits to gaining weight since she gave up modelling says the media’s obsession with weight has gone too far and intends to devote an episode of her show to addressing the issue. She hasn’t stopped there either on the cover of People Magazine a swimsuit clad Tyra asks the question:

“You call this fat?”

In a further spread inside Tyra goes on to claim:

“If I had lower self esteem I would probably be starving myself right now”

Well done Tyra very commendable!

However!…All of this might sound very noble, had it not been for the fact that People have very clearly Photo-shopped half her thighs out of the pictures! Either that or the girls had major Lypo since the pap shots were taken.

Cos there is no way they are the same thighs!

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Katie Holmes And Posh Do Paris Again

Katie Holmes has been allowed out again from the clutches of Tom and once again her minder friend Posh accompanied her! The girls created quite a stir as they hit the Paris fashion shows for the second time this year.
Katie in a desperate attempt to recapture her youth even attempted a Britney/Paris style exit from one of the limo’s. Luckily for us the dress didn’t ride quite as far up as Britney and Lindsay’s have been known to!

I’m sure over protective Tom isn’t going to like that but now that Posh and Becks are due to move to the US he will at least have a constant minder friend on call for Katie, in case she tries to escape again.

Meanwhile, whilst Posh shopped in Paris, Madame Tussaud’s shipped over their waxworks of the Beckham’s to the US to celebrate their move. Maybe they figured the dummies would be more entertaining for the Americans and look a lot more natural!

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Tom Cruise Hailed As The Christ Of Scientology!

Whilst his wife is in Paris, it seems Tom has taken a trip of his own, to crazy town!

The diminutive actor, who is a devout follower of the scientology cult, has been hailed by leaders of the faith as the "chosen one" who will spread the word of the religion.

High-ranking Scientologist David Miscavige is convinced in years to come Crazy Cruise, will be worshipped like Jesus all over the world as he becomes a prophet for the religion.

A source close to the actor is quoted by The Sun newspaper as
saying: "Tom has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure. Just like Christ, he has been criticized for his views. But future generations will realize he was right, just like Jesus."

Hmm does that mean we get to crucify the crazy loon?

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Madonna Forces Family To Endure Her New Film

Madge’s baby David may be settling in ok according to Madonna but his father is still not happy and is apparently, about to fly to London, to check up on his son. This might explain his absence from the media circus that accompanied the Richie family outing to the premiere of Madonna’s latest turkey film “Arthur and The Invisibles”.

Luckily for us Esther remains invisible in the film too, as she is only the voice of one of the films animated characters. Though rumours are, her performance, though only vocal, is up to her usual standards!

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Kate Winslet Is Photo-Shopped To Death

Funny how Kate Winslet, long time advocate of larger women being portrayed in the media, is more than happy to be airbrushed into oblivion in photo-shoots.

So much so that I didn't even recognise her on the cover of this month's magazine "Hollywood Life".



Luckily the magazine helpfully plastered her name in big print on the cover or no one would have known it was her!

Now I'm all fin favour of a little touch up here and there. But really! It does help if the person is vaguely recognisable!

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Madge's Tat All Over H & M Stores

Here’s one of the first shots of Madonna photographed by Steven Klein for her “M” line for H&M. Madonna has designed a line of clothing and sunglasses for the retailer. Let’s hope it sells a bit better than that nasty cheap track suit she tried to flog for them earlier in the year!

Is it me or is there a striking resemblance to the ads she did for Versace?

Well, the ads may look similar but I bet the clothes aren’t. I’m sure the Versace togs aren’t made of nylon and fall apart after one wash! What is she thinking hawking this crap all over the High Street! She must really need the money? But then I guess babies don’t come cheap these days!

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Pete Burns To Sue Surgeon! - Followed By Stylist?

Pete Burns, is suing his plastic surgeon for a reported £1m. Pete hired the surgeon to remove lip implants and the surgery didn’t go as planned. He’s now claiming that the messed up procedure

has ruined his career and life.

He said, “It has taken away my life and my career. I saw doctors in London who said the only option was to amputate my lips. I was suicidal.

“Eventually I found a doctor in Italy who knew the product and said he could remove it. I had 17 months of procedures and now I am back again having more.”

He has now had almost 100 procedures to correct the mess.

Pete said, “What happened to me after a series of injections was far worse than any nightmare I could have envisaged. Not only was it agonisingly painful but it was physically repulsive in the extreme. It was impossible to lead any life whatsoever. I was unable to leave my house as I was so distorted with swelling.

“At times it leaves me seriously suicidal and depressed and I could have problems for the rest of my life.”

Ouch! If that’s not a warning for anyone contemplating a trout pout I don’t know what is? Are you listening Melanie Griffiths?!!

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Parasite Hilton's Dirty Secrets All Over The Internet

Well it’s good and bad news this week for old wonky eye, Parisite Hilton; The good news is that she managed to get away with just 36-months of probation and a $390 fine for her drunk driving case.

The bad news is that the the website Paris Hilton Exposed received record hits and the contents leaked all over the internet. The site is the result of personal papers videos and files of Paris which were sold by a storage company for unpaid bills. Some bright spark bought them and put the lot online.

Unfortunately for Hilton these include a whole loada new Paris sex tapes plus a number of other embarrassing items including: prescriptions for OxyContin used to manage anxiety disorders, post-party sleep aid Ambien and the herpes medication Valtrex. Ewww! And a medical bill from a Los Angeles clinic, billing an "Amber Taylor" - with the same birth date as Paris - for a miscarriage in March 2003.

All the videos are in one download here .

Shorter downloads of parts of the tapes are at the following links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10


And this is the woman who called Britney an animal!

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You Tube Favourite - Ann Miller Feels A Song Coming On

You Tube is a bloggers dream especially when you can't be bothered to post much! There are some real gems on there so I thought I'd post some of my favourites each month.

This months favourite is yet again, the incomparable Ann Miller and her legendary helmet hair, this time on the "Dinah Shore show", pushing, her then Broadway hit, "Sugar Babies" and opening with a belting version of "I feel A song Coming On" As ever the voice and hair are as big as ever! Enjoy!


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Jake Gyllenhaal

The I Definitely Would Hunk Of The Month

GQ features the delectable Jake Gyllenhaal on their cover this month and the hottie never looked hotter!

He just seems to get better and better as he gets older. He may not be conventionally handsome but the boy certainly has something and those eyes are just dreamy.

I guess it also doesn’t hurt he has a fantastic body after all that cycling and running with fellow dreamboat Matthew McConaughey definitely paid off (lycra never looked so good!)

It looks like he’s no stranger to the gym either, if those biceps are anything to go by! If all that wasn’t enough he has one of the cutest smiles in Hollywood.

I’m ashamed to say, I was never much of a fan before Brokeback Mountain but he’s certainly got my attention now! Woof!

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Raquel Welch Sensational At Sixty Seven

She may be of pension-able age, but Raquel Welch could still give some of the younger It girls a run for her money! Still stunning in her sixties the old girl turned up for a MAC cosmetics party in her honour looking fabulous. It may be mostly surgery but hey! That’s great looking surgery!

Raquel will be following previous legends, Diana Ross, Liza Minnelli and Catherine Deneuve as the face of their “Icons” cosmetic campaign.

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You Were Never Fuglier - Britney Spears

Good grief isn’t it bad enough that Britney looks like her stylist is Helen Keller and her weaves were borrowed from Whitney in her crack days? Does she also have to go around pulling the most unflattering faces as well?

Surely after all this time in the public eye Britney has learned that when the paps are around you try and smile and look composed instead of looking like a retarded child! Lately I’m starting to wonder if we weren’t better off looking at her cooter, than that sulky sow of a face.

Sort it out Britney and while you’re at it learn some table manners the pictures of you eating lunch, nearly made me lose mine!

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Good Riddance To Goody And Her Gob

So after all the histrionics in the Celebrity Big Brother House this week, Jade Goody got evicted. It seems incredible that a dreary reality show could result in a diplomatic incident and force the Prime Minister to answer questions in Parliament! The only good thing is that Ghastly Goody and fellow bully Danielle Lloyd have lost several valuable merchandising deals and are pretty much the most hated people in Britain.

Just before her eviction Jade addressed the nation via the diary room, “I aint racial” (I’m assuming the dumb blob meant racist) blubbed the vile fish wife.

To be honest I don’t care if she’s racist and in all honesty she probably isn’t, I’m just glad to see the back of the mealy mouthed fishwife and her pig ugly face. She may not be racist but she’s an overbearing stupid bully and I really hope Shilpa goes on to win if only to show that class will out!

Shilpa claims she’s there to represent her country presumably Jermaine Jackson and Dirk Benedict feel the same way, how depressing that our representatives in the UK are Jade Goody and her coven of fellow imbeciles, who can barely speak English.

Thanks to the producers of Celebrity Big Brother the UK is now a laughing stock.

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Kate Moss Not So pretty On Her Birthday

Well Kate Moss and Pete Doherty had something to celebrate this week. Pete, in court again, managed to avoid a prison sentence for the millionth time (surely his luck is gonna run out soon?) and Kate celebrated her 33^rd birthday, which in model years is like 103 but give the girl her due she’s still working and top of the model heap!

Ironic then, that Kate spent her birthday wasted and looking like the wreck of the Hesperus, a look more usually associated with her boyfriend. Whilst Pete called it a night early and looked relatively together! Looks like all the birthday partying with Sadie Frost & co. took its toll on Kate.

If she wants to stay top of the heap much longer a few early nights are in order!

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Car Crash of The Month - Cameron Diaz

Now that Justin Timberlake got his "sexy back" and dumped her Cameron Diaz is obviously not taking the split well. Unlike Reese Witherspoon who never looked better since her split with Ryan Philippe and pretty much stole the show at The Golden Globes. Cameron is obviously over compensating with a hideous new hair colour and trowled on drag queen slap, to add to her woes she also sported one of the worst frock horrors on the red carpet.

Whilst Cameron has had a fixed smile for the media recently and claimed in a recent interview

“I love being alone, and being by myself. And I’m reallye! Cameron n good at it too.

“Not in a weird ‘leave me alone’ kind of way, but I’m just much more comfortable when I’m by myself.”

It seems the reality is that she is taking the break up very badly; Page Six reports:

Cameron Diaz is not over Justin Timberlake just yet, and things got heated when she saw her ex chatting up Jessica Biel in L.A. after the Golden Globes. Sources say the temperamental star "blew up" at Biel after she saw Timberlake flirting with her. Diaz followed Timberlake to the In Style party at the Hilton Oasis, where "they had an awkward conversation." The "Charlie's Angels" star then trailed Timberlake to the Beverly Hilton rooftop for the Universal party, where she found him chatting up Biel - and screamed at the "Illusionist" star.

"If that's how she wants to get him back, it won't work," said our insider. "She's desperate."

Hmm happy to be alone? Sounds more like bunny boiling stalker to me she needs to get a grip before she ends up becoming the new Jennifer Aniston and whiles she’s at it ditch the lousy hair colour and clown make up and get a bit of dignity!

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Lindsay Lohan & Her Decimated Liver Check Into Rehab

Well it’s hardly a surprise but Lindsay Lohan has checked herself and her decimated liver into Rehab. At only 20 it’s pretty sad that things have to come to this but Lindsay remains up-beat releasing the following statement:

"I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time."

Ironically the man who originally branded her “Firecrotch” Brandon Davis the beached whale oil heir was instrumental in persuading Lindsay to check herself into The Wonderland treatment centre in Los Angeles.

Let’s just hope she stays in there for a bit and gets well. Unlike Nicole Richie and her Rehab spell that saw her out clubbing almost straight away!

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Frock Horrors At the Golden Globes

Last night's Golden Globes red carpet was a huge disappointment. Normally there at least a dozen monstrosities paraded down the red carpet but this year everyone was playing it safe sartorially and the result was a well groomed but ultimately dull showing.

However all was not entirely lost, despite the best stylists money can buy someone always gets it drastically wrong and whilst year there may have been less of them than usual there was still some ghastly garb on display. So here we present the Golden Globe Frock Horrors for 2007:

First up Beyonce! Lordy! That bitch needs to stop letting her mother dress her cos judging by this ghastly gold number her mother is in fact a retired Drag Queen from Arkansas. Well thank heavens, at least her wig was glued on right this time!



Vanessa Williams of Ugly Betty Fame. Good grief! The dress is actually not bad. But what’s with the dead animal act on top?

Unfortunately it looks like the fur is real unlike that fright wig she’s wearing! Crikey! Even Whitney on crack sported better weaves than that bird nest.





Jennifer Love-Hewitt eek! Busy, busy, busy. Like her name there's just too much of it.

All that shiny gold plus 3 different patterns and what’s with the panel at the front it looks like a weightlifter’s belt with a bow on it.

Hideous! And someone needs to tell her she’s too old for hair that long.




P Diddy seems to have borrowed an old smoking jacket from some twenties drama or is it just a tux he stole from from a 70’s third rate Vegas lounge act?

Either way it’s truly hideous and should be burned immediately, in fact it looks like just a whiff of a cigarette and the whole thing would melt like cheap polyester.




Cameron Diaz, no wonder Justin dumped you, for a start that dark hair is just so un-flattering and harsh and what the hell is that flouncy fluffy bit of ruffled tat you are wearing.

She might just have got away with it if she was a foot taller and ten years younger….well maybe.



Sienna Miller actually wore quite a nice Alexander McQueen dress but for some reason she wore her hair like across between Tina Turner and Heidi giving her the look of a demented milk maid! Sienna needs to learn you need to do a spot of grooming if you ever want designers to lend you a dress again!

Well they were a bit parse this year but nice to see there’s always a few Frock horrors at every award show.

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Rank & Bile At The Movies - Notes On A Scandal Starring Judi Dench & Cate Blanchett

Last night Lulu and I went to see the new Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench movie Notes On A Scandal. What a great film and so good to see Dame Judi out of that “Lavender Girls” “Mrs Henderson” Dotty old lady rut she’s been stuck in for ages. This time Judi gets to play bad, in fact psycho lesbian from hell bad! And she’s great!

Cate Blanchett, not normally one of my favourite actresses, turns in a brilliantly underplayed and restrained performance and even that old ham Bill Nighy for once plays someone other than himself.

Judi’s usual fans however may find her portrayal of her a hard bitten, psychotic, spinster, school teacher a little hard to stomach but I loved it. Highly recommended this film goes on general release February 2^nd Go see it!

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You Were Never Fuglier - Angelina Jolie

I never thought I’d be posting Angelina Jolie in one of my You Were Never Fuglier Posts! The woman is flawless and has quite possibly the most beautiful face in the world but it seems even Angelina is not completely perfect.









Whilst she may have the face of a goddess it appears she has the arms of an eighty yr old woman and the hands to match!

Eww those are some seriously ugly veins on her arms and it looks like she has a nasty case of that Hollywood affliction, “zombie hands”. Well at least it gives hope to the rest of us mere mortals that she isn’t completely flawless!

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Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Dream Girl!

Jake Gyllenhaal proved he’s not just a pretty face, with his appearance on Saturday Night Live, he has a sense of humour too. Not only that, the boy can sing as well, as he demonstrated in a sequin dress and wig as he belted out a pretty damn good rendition of “And I am telling you I'm not going” from Dreamgirls!

Watch Jake in full Diva mode and while you’re at it check out those biceps! Who’d have thought it? He actually looks mighty good in that dress!

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What A Dame - Shirley Bassey Celebrates 70 With A New Single

There’s just no stopping Dame Shirley Bassey. Here recent version of Pink’s “Get this party started” fronted the Christmas M&S ad and now, The Tigress from Tiger Bay is celebrating her 70^th birthday with the release of a new single “The Living Tree”. She’s back! And her voice has lost none of its power.

Check out the single including the great “shaken and not stirred” and “Bimbo Jones” remixes at Shirley’s website www.dameshirleybassey.com and hear the original version at Shirley’s Myspace page

Happy Birthday Shirley Bassey The Queen of all Diva’s!

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Lindsay Lohan Is Photo-Shopped To Death

Good grief now I’m all for a bit of airbrushing here and there, hell! I’ve even taken the Photoshop blur tool to a few of my own pics in the past but there is a limit. Lindsay Lohan appears as the new face of Miu Miu and what on earth were they thinking? I really don’t see the point in making a “celebrity” the face of your ad campaign if you are going to airbrush the out of all recognition!

There’s no way I would have guessed it was Ho Han from this shot, especially when you compare it with this candid shot form the Golden Globes last week, where Lindsay, looked like her partying, operation and decimated liver are well and truly catching up with her!

Jeez! Is there any of the original photo left in that ad!

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Kylie's Showgirl Homecoming Concert

For those of you who didn't get the chance to see Kylie's fabulous Showgirl Homecoming Shows don't forget to tune into channel four tonight at 10.10pm to see the diminutive icon's fabulous comeback concert. Recorded in front of a capacity crowd in Australia this really was a homecoming for Australia's own showgirl and superstar.
With all new choreography and stunninning costumes the show is absolutely spectacular. The Queen of Pop is back and better than ever. Welcome back Kylie!

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Some Of What I'm Reading This Month

Watching the English
By Kate Fox
This (very) non academic anthropological study of The English probably seemed like a clever and amusing idea when it was first imagined and it’s true, there is the germ of a good book in there, unfortunately Kate Fox didn’t manage to get it onto the paper successfully. Though the beginning is mildly amusing, the whole thing just becomes a somewhat tedious and repetitive collection of clichés with a tone that you might use with a slightly retarded child. If you want to read a truly amusing study of English people and their behaviour go elsewhere, people from Jeremy Paxman and Jeremy Clarkson and Godfrey Smith have tackled the topic with far more wit and aplomb.

Not recommended unless you are stuck for a present for someone like a senile American Aunt.

My Lucky Star
By Joe Keenan
Philip Claire and Gilbert ride again in Joe Keenan’s third novel for anyone who has read his first two “putting on the Ritz” and “Blue Heaven” the style remains the same with a farce like plot told with panache and a glut of witty one liners. This time our hapless heroes are embroiled in the world of Hollywood where the usual hilarity ensues.
For those of you yet to tackle Joe’s books I strongly recommend them for light humorous entertainment they are sublime, just don’t expect Dostoyevsky! The quality of the humour is hardly surprising for a writer who used to work on the television series Frasier.

Highly recommended for a light and fun read.

Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins
By Rupert Everet
You get the impression the Rupert got bored of writing his book half way through in the same way I got bored reading it half way through! It starts well as study of a young actor to break into “the Biz” but then becomes muddled and disjointed with a huge amount of jumping around. There are some fascinating vignettes but like his acting it’s patchy at best and whilst he holds forth ad nauseum on some topics others are skimmed over to the point of neglect. Somewhere in there is a good book and with a little more time and a tougher editor one day it might emerge.

Fascinating in places but a disappointment overall.

All books available at Rank & Bile Monthly Picks US Edition & UK Edition

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Mika - A Star Is Born

All Hail the new pop sensation Mika. I can't stop playing his first single "Grace Kelly" which is getting masses of air play here in the UK.

I'm sure this fabulously talented and gorgeous 23 yr old has a massive future and I for one can't wait till the release of his Album next month!

Catch Mika on Jools Holland's show below:

Hear "Grace Kelly" on Mika's MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/mikamyspace

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More News From Car Crash Central - Britney Did Go Down On N.Y.E.

It seems Britney’s publicist version of the events on NYE at "Pure" are a little at odds with many eye witness reports, including that of “Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous” host, Robin Leach. Whilst Britney’s rep insisted she just walked out because she was feeling tired and didn’t collapse at all, Robin tells a different story:

In an exclusive interview with ABC News Radio, Leach says: "She suddenly slides to the floor. Pandemonium and panic break out in her 27-strong person camp. The woman standing two feet away from me immediately shouts out at the top of her voice, 'Make sure there are no pictures, no photographers at all!'

"At the same time, her bodyguard, who was four feet from me, calls for extra security, and the bodyguards from Pure nightclub race up there." Britney was then carried out.

Hmm still saying you left early cos you were tired Britney?

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Lindsay Lohan's Liver Ready To Call It Quits

It seems Rank & Bile spoke to soon when we jokingly said doctors should have replaced Lindsay Lohan’s Liver while they were conducting her appendectomy. According to The National Enquirer, when Lindsay Lohan was in the hospital to have her operation, her blood work showed that Lindsay's liver enzymes are "extremely elevated," and she has now been warned she may die, if she doesn't stop drinking.

"The appendectomy was routine, but what doctors discovered in her blood work was not," a source close to the actress told The Enquirer.

"Lindsay's liver panel shows her drinking is taking a terrible toll on her health. Her liver enzymes are extremely elevated, and doctors warned her if she doesn't quit boozing she could die!" In addition to the raised enzymes, the levels of protein in her liver were shockingly low — so low her doctors "couldn't believe she was even walking around," said an insider.

Good grief the girl is only 20 and already she’s a broken down drunk with a clapped out liver! How much is she knocking back for Gods sake? Even Larry Hagman’s sozzled old liver lasted him until he hit 65!

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Britney's Stylist Is Ashamed - She Has A Stylist! Who Knew?

Britney Spears has a stylist! Who knew? The poor soul is Britt Bardo, who is doing everything in her power to distance herself from Britney:

Britt Bardo, whose clients include the likes of Kate Hudson, Jennifer Lopez and Eva Mendes, was overheard telling folks that she’s not responsible for the look of the “Oops, I Did It Again” crooner, according to In Touch Weekly.

'Yes, I’ve done Britney Spears, but don’t blame me, okay?' Bardo said. 'I make her up and she just takes everything off and does her own thing.'

Hmm I hear Rachel Zoe has a vacancy since she lost Nicole and not only will your dress sense improve Britney, you’ll probably lose a whole lot of weight with Rachel as your dealer stylist!

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The Beckhams Go West - To L.A.

Watch out Hollywood! The Beckham Brand is about to hit town. David Beckham has signed a five-year contract with the Los Angeles Galaxy of Major League Soccer, to start when he leaves Real Madrid.

"I am proud to have played for two of the biggest clubs in football and I look forward to the new challenge of growing the world's most popular game in a country that is as passionate about its sport as my own," he said in a statement released Today.

As we predicted at Rank & Bile David will also be teaching soccer skills to the kids of the Hollywood elite and the first pupil on his books is none other than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s adopted son Maddox. The footy-mad five-year-old has already enrolled at the David Beckham Soccer Academy in Los Angeles, and now Pitt, 42, wants the ex-England captain to give Cambodian-born Maddox some one-on-one coaching.

Hmm I’m sure David and Victoria were rather hoping to be invited to The Pitt’s house as guests rather than the hired help!

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R.I.P. Yvonne De Carlo

Yvonne De Carlo has died. She was 84, the beautiful star who played Moses' wife in "The Ten Commandments" went on to have a film and Broadway career of some note, including a Tony for her dazzling performance in Stephen Sondheim’s “Follies” on Broadway in 1971. Despite her successful film and stage career, Yvonne will sadly, only, be remembered by most, for her portrayal of Lily Munster, in the long running comedy TV Show “The Munsters”

De Carlo died of natural causes Monday at the Motion Picture & Television facility in suburban Woodland Hills, She had been ill for some time following a stroke.

Rest in peace Yvonne De Carlo.

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Lindsay Lohan Out Clubbing Before The Anaesthetic Even Wore Off

Seems Lindsay Lohan isn’t gonna keep a little thing like an appendectomy keep her from partying. Despite only leaving hospital last Thursday Ho Han was partying as hard as ever over the weekend.

Which does make you wonder if the whole appendix thing isn’t a hoax according to some witnesses HoHan was partying hard Wednesday night then was in and out of hospital in a day and back to partying a day after that! Could this just be another excuse for her not wanting to turn up for work again?

Ho han is currently filming her new “stripper” film but the whole thing smacks of the controversy over her last movie when she was accused of partying to the point of hospitalisation and holding up filming. I guess she needed abetter excuse than the “exhaustion” one she used last time!

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Angelina Jolie Back Peddles Furiously & Denies Madge Bashing

Angelina Jolie and her team are back peddling furiously after last weeks attack on Her Madgesty. In an interview in Gala magazine, last Thursday, Jolie said of Madonna and her efforts to adopt 1-year-old David:

"Madonna knew the situation in Malawi, where (David) was born. It's a country where there is no real legal framework for adoption. Personally, I prefer to stay on the right side of the law. I would never take a child away from a place where adoption is illegal."

After the press had a filed day reporting on the apparent feud Angelina and her publicist quickly went into damage limitation mode:

"The article included many falsehoods," Jolie said in a statement on Monday. "I said many positive things that were omitted. I feel we must focus on the present and I encourage everyone to be supportive so that every child can adjust nicely to their new home. I have been horrified by the attacks she's been subjected to,"

Hmm that’s not what you were saying last week Angelina, when it was you doing the attacking!

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Alan Cumming Gets Hitched In London

Congratulations to Alan Cumming and American graphic artist Grant Shaffer, who tied the knot on Saturday, in a civil ceremony at the Old Royal Naval College London. About 140 guests watched the couple swap vows and the celeb-studded guest list included Sir Ian McKellen, Geri Halliwell, Rufus Wainwright and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.

The couple walked down the aisle to the theme song from 1994's Circle of Friends, Cumming's first big film, and then took to a nearby rented ice rink for a newlywed skate to the tune of Queen's "You're My Best Friend."

In a statement the newlyweds used the occasion to bash US policy on gay marriage claiming:

"Not only are we so happy to be able to celebrate our love for each other, but also to be able to do it in a country that properly recognizes the rights of same-sex couples. As residents of America we would have loved to marry there, but we hope that soon the civil rights that we have been afforded in the U.K. will be available to all gay Americans, and we look forward to celebrating not only our marriage, but the end of prejudice."

Good for you guys!


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They Tried To Make Amy Winehouse Go Back On Stage - She Said No No No

Amy Winehouse, performed at G-A-Y on Saturday, but was a little worse for wear! After drunkenly, warbling her way through one ditty she staggered off stage to throw up!

Maybe someone put a mirror off stage and she caught site of her horrific brush with the eyeliner pencil! Fans were left to wondering if someone shouldn’t be trying a bit harder to make her go to Rehab! See Amy and her eyeliner in action below:

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Is this The End Of The Line For The Britney Spears Train Wreck

Britney’s Camp are trying desperately to downplay her recent train wreck behaviour, Britney's manager, Larry Rudolph, told USA Today. "She understands what's going on right now, and she calls it her 'rocky moment." (Hmm surely that’s a typo and he meant month rather than moment!)

Meanwhile Britney has posted a letter on her website Britneyspears.com, saying “I know I've been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move, but I want you all to know that I love my fans so much, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!”

So basically the Spears camp are claiming that a solid month of flashing her bits, drink and drug fuelled partying, all of which ended with her collapsing on NYE, was just a “rocky moment” that the press have exaggerated. Oh well that’s alright then!

However it seems Britney’s record label Jive are not taking her behaviour so nonchalantly. Cindy Adams “Page Six” column this week claims far from seeing Britney’s behaviour as a “rocky moment” Jive may be viewing it as the end of the line for Princess Trailer Trash.

Execs at Jive are said to be furious that Britney is alienating her fan base with her antics and worse still are less than happy with the end results of her new album. Insiders believe the album will never hit shelves. "Like the rest of us," said the Page Six source, "Jive is done with Britney Spears." Looks like Britney better knuckle down ad start trying to win back some favour with her fans and her bosses and quick!

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Screen Queen-Some Of What I'm watching This Month

Little Miss Sunshine

Starring: , Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Paul Dano, Steve Carell

This film shouldn’t work but somehow it does. Despite thoroughly un-likeable characters, a heroin taking grandfather, suicidal gay uncle and sullen and silent son. This dysfunctional family headed by Toni Collette and Greg Kinnear slowly worm their way into your affections as they head off on a disastrous road trip to enter their talent-less chubby daughter in a child beauty pageant. The whole cast are a brilliant ensemble but Toni Collette as the put upon mother gives deserves special mention, delivering the best performances of her career.

Along the way mayhem death and disaster are thrown in their direction only for them to triumph and really bond as a family. This is definitely one of the best comedies I’ve seen in along time with a truly funny and warm script, without the usual Hollywood schmaltz that normally comes with it.

Highly recommended.

An Inconvenient Truth

Starring: Al Gore

Al Gore does for global warming, what Michael Moore did for 9/11 in this fascinating documentary examining the real implications of our continuing abuse of the environment. A documentary/slide show performed by a losing politician might not sound like good viewing but the information is riveting and Gore’s passion and delivery makes you wonder how on earth he lost the presidency to George W Bush. Gore has been presenting this “slide show” for years, to people all over the world and now his charismatic delivery now captured on film will ensure it is seen by millions. In the same way that Michael more changed global perceptions about 9/11, An Inconvenient Truth has the ability to shock people into taking action to save their planet. Al Gore may end up having done more for the environment than he ever could have done in The White House.

A must see documentary.

Brick

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emilie De Ravin

I watched this film on a recommendation but was slightly disappointed. Don’t get me wrong it’s a clever and stylish movie with a great script and I loved the idea of taking a teen mystery and giving it the look sound and feel of real noir thriller. My disappointment came because it just wasn’t as good as Mysterious Skin which also starred Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who was the main reason for my seeing this movie. As with Mysterious Skin, young Joseph completely dominates every scene he’s in. This charismatic young actor I predict is going to be a very big star indeed. I just dint think this was a vehicle worthy of his talents. I’m probably being too harsh, had I seen it before Mysterious Skin I’d have probably loved it! Judge for yourself just don’t expect it to rival Mysterious Skin.

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Lohan Hospitalised Again

Good grief! Lindsay Lohan is in the hospital again! Unlike her last few trips to hospital the party girl was not being treated for partying exhaustion, or drink & drugs asthma. This time Ho Han was diagnosed with appendicitis and as precaution doctors have performed an appendectomy.

Guess we won’t be seeing any more bikini shots of her for a little while. Maybe while they are in there they could do a liver transplant as hers has gotta be close to meltdown by now!

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Naked Britney To Be Immortalised

Seems Britney’s is not content with just flashing her beaver now More magazine reports that little Miss Trailer Trash is to commission a nude statue of herself! Lordy is there enough clay in the world! Whilst a few years ago Britney was a superfit babe these days the partying , cheetos and childbirth have taken their toll. And despite being just 23 she’s a bloated mess.

Hmm maybe worth waiting till you can get back to the gym and are looking less like a bloated sow Britney?

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Kate & Pete Get Hitched In Thailand

Reports are just coming in that Kate Moss and Pete Doherty finally tied the knot in Phuket (Thailand) yesterday. The newlyweds are staying at the Amanpuri Hotel were fellow guests include Sarah Duchess of York and Princesses Eugine and Beatrice.

Kate wore a white Galliano shift dress and Pete wore a black linen suit and pork pie hat.

Oh Kate what were you thinking? Penniless Pete will now have access to Kate’s reported £25m fortune and that’s gonna buy a whole lotta drugs!

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Britney Sees In 2007 Then Keels Over!

Britney Spears partying seems to finally catching up with her. Princess Trailer trash who had been booked by Pure in Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas, to ring in 2007, apparently fainted shortly after seeing in the New Year. Spears was apparently carried out of the club by minders who to avoid photographers covered her in a blanket.

Britney’s camp are denying the story claiming she was just tired! This isn’t the first time she’s been the worse for wear whilst clubbing, only a week ago at Hollywood's Les Deux nightspot, she threw up before staggering out of the club at 2am.

Come on Britney pull it together! It’s not a very good start to 2007 is it?

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