Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Celebrities At Christmas - Rank & Bile Round Up

Whilst most of us spent our Christmas partying & over eating or slumped in front of the TV. Rank & bile looks at how some of our fave celebs spent their festive season.

Britney spent the holiday season lamenting the loss of yet another publicist, Sonia Muckle became the second to quit in just 3 months but then given The Trailer Trash Princess’s recent behaviour its hardly surprising! Oh well New Year new publicist!

Meanwhile in London Posh and her husband David Beckham along with their children spent a civilised Christmas at London Hotel Claridges. Where they stayed after a mammoth Christmas Eve shopping spree that almost emptied Old bond St.

In Barbados what on first glance appeared to be two beached whales actually turned out to be Simon Cowell and Michael Winner enjoying some Christmas sunshine. If his man boobs are anything to go by Simon appears to have celebrated his X Factor triumph with Leona Lewis by eating everything in sight!

Across the Atlantic, in far colder, Aspen, Mariah Carey continued to terrorise the locals with her fashion sense and appeared bundled up in some kind of wool Osama Bin Laden meets Barbarella outfit, as she trawled the shops of Aspen, presumably looking for something else hideous to wear!

The only good thing about this outfit was that we were spared the sight of Miss Scarey’s cellulite as it was encased in industrial strength lycra.

The holiday must have been especially uncomfortable for the Botox Bride, Nicole Kidman although hubby Keith Urban was released from re-hab in time for the holidays his mistress chose Christmas to reveal to the world her sordid affair with Urban and adding the icing on Nicole’s Christmas Cake, by also revealing her affair with Urban continued long after he took up with Nicole!

While Nicole’s marriage may well be un-ravelling Kate Moss if rumours are to be believed, spent her Christmas planning a wedding as friends hinted to the press she is finally going to tie the knot with long term boyfriend Pete Doherty this week, in London. Let’s just hope Pete manages to stay clean, sober and not get arrested in the next few days! Kate and Pete are staying tight lipped and trying to avoid the press.

Over in LA one person definitely NOT trying to avoid the press was Lindsay Lohan who somewhat dramatically let herself be photographed at the airport, wearing a hospital wristband, prompting rumours of another suicide/cutting episode over the holiday season.

In case nobody got the, I’m a mixed up suicidal celebrity vibe, she was giving off, Lohan carried with her a Marilyn Monroe DVD to ram the point home. This cry for help was about as subtle as a brick!

Then just to make us all feel really bad about over indulging and forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie spent Christmas day giving out presents to orphaned, child, refugees in Costa Rica and meeting aid workers there as part of their goodwill work for UNICEF.

So how was your Christmas?

More Rank & Bile


Anonymous said...

love Mariah's outfit where can i get one! Lol

China Blue said...

Hahaha, Mariah's outfit is pure comedy gold. How anyone could mistake her for a porn queen in that clown-college getup is beyond me.

LMBAO@ 'Botox Bride' - how much does Urban's bit o'fluff look like Chantelle...?