Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Frock Horrors At the Golden Globes

Last night's Golden Globes red carpet was a huge disappointment. Normally there at least a dozen monstrosities paraded down the red carpet but this year everyone was playing it safe sartorially and the result was a well groomed but ultimately dull showing.

However all was not entirely lost, despite the best stylists money can buy someone always gets it drastically wrong and whilst year there may have been less of them than usual there was still some ghastly garb on display. So here we present the Golden Globe Frock Horrors for 2007:

First up Beyonce! Lordy! That bitch needs to stop letting her mother dress her cos judging by this ghastly gold number her mother is in fact a retired Drag Queen from Arkansas. Well thank heavens, at least her wig was glued on right this time!

Vanessa Williams of Ugly Betty Fame. Good grief! The dress is actually not bad. But what’s with the dead animal act on top?

Unfortunately it looks like the fur is real unlike that fright wig she’s wearing! Crikey! Even Whitney on crack sported better weaves than that bird nest.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt eek! Busy, busy, busy. Like her name there's just too much of it.

All that shiny gold plus 3 different patterns and what’s with the panel at the front it looks like a weightlifter’s belt with a bow on it.

Hideous! And someone needs to tell her she’s too old for hair that long.

P Diddy seems to have borrowed an old smoking jacket from some twenties drama or is it just a tux he stole from from a 70’s third rate Vegas lounge act?

Either way it’s truly hideous and should be burned immediately, in fact it looks like just a whiff of a cigarette and the whole thing would melt like cheap polyester.

Cameron Diaz, no wonder Justin dumped you, for a start that dark hair is just so un-flattering and harsh and what the hell is that flouncy fluffy bit of ruffled tat you are wearing.

She might just have got away with it if she was a foot taller and ten years younger….well maybe.

Sienna Miller actually wore quite a nice Alexander McQueen dress but for some reason she wore her hair like across between Tina Turner and Heidi giving her the look of a demented milk maid! Sienna needs to learn you need to do a spot of grooming if you ever want designers to lend you a dress again!

Well they were a bit parse this year but nice to see there’s always a few Frock horrors at every award show.

More Rank & Bile


sunnyyang813 said...

Congratulations. Its a nice blog you are keeping here. Keep it up and all the best.If you have some time, do check my personal blog and don't forget to leave a little comment for me while you are there.

Anonymous said...

I think J Lo-H's hair looks OK, she has a pretty long face so short hair wouldn't suit her. I quite liked Bey's dress, but I hate her. Nice to see she's got her wig on t'right way round!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does anyone else suspect that Beyonce used to be a guy?!!?!?

You said something about her mum being a tranny, but weren't you skipping over the more obvious?!?!