Prince Harry

The I Definately Would - Hunk of The Month

Well who would have thought it?
Just a few years back everyone was assuming Prince William, with his Mother’s looks, would become the next Royal heart throb.








Imagine our surprise when out of nowhere Prince Harry shot up, filled out, became a Royal rebel and overtook Wills. Turning from, ginger minger to Royal hunk overnight.




Of course a certain rumour about the size of the Crown Jewels (which some of these photos seem to confirm!) probably hasn’t hurt his standing. I seem to remember the same rumours about James Hewitt, so maybe it’s a case of like father, like son.














In the good looks department Harry is definitely more heir than spare!

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Eartha kitt

This Months Queens of Camp Hall of Fame Inductee

Even if Eartha Kitt had retired in the early 70’s she would probably have still earned the title Queen of camp, if only for her sultry renditions of such hits as Santa Baby and Old fashioned Girl, both gold digging anthems long before Madonna’s Material Girl. Then there was her stint growling and purring as Cat Woman in the original Batman TV series and success in concert and on stage. Throughout the 50's and 60's Eartha was the original sex kitten untill an anti vietnam war remark at the White House saw her blacklisted for most of the 70's.

But you cant keep a good sex kitten down and 9 lives Eartha launched the campest pop comeback ever in the 1980’s with her boys town anthems, including "I love Men", "Where is My Man" and later "Cha Cha Heels".
Out of nowhere, acompanied by a pounding dance beat, she growled and purred her way back to the top of the pop charts.


Where is my Man charted in every European country and introduced Eartha to a whole new generation of fans and was quickly followed by further singles, an album and the peak of pop camp, the single, "Cha Cha Heels" a homage to legendary drag performer Divine on which she duetted with Gay pop group Bronski beat.





Eartha’s career not only got a shot in the arm she also kept the momentum going and now at 80 yrs old she is still working the legendary Carlyle Room in New York.In the last few years she has had success on Broadway, in several great shows, in Print with bestselling Books and in cabaret and concerts. It takes a lot of chutzpah to stage a comeback at the age of sixty and garner a whole new generation of fans but it takes even more, to ride that comeback trail for a further twenty years and keep adding new generations of fans along the way.Eartha Kitt is an Original! No one sounds or looks like her and let’s face it in a world of packaged, reality show, stars we need all the Originals we can get. So we salute you Eartha Kitt a true Sex Kitten and Queen of camp!



More Eartha at:
Eartha at Amazon
Eartha's Own Site
Eartha Kitt Queen of Camp

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Car Crash of The Month - Britney Spears

Recently we have been deluged by picture of Little Miss White Trash in tears and no wonder.
Her marriage is falling apart rumours claimed her new security guy/nanny was getting a bit too close to her, she looks a mess and seems in capable of raising her child.

It can’t be long before poor little Sean Preston is in care! So far Britney has managed to drop him on his head, endanger his life twice in cars and then almost drop him again. Lordy! child services are going to have a field day, when they get through with her she won't be allowed to keep a dog.




As for her marriage how bored with the on off saga in the tabloids are we? It seems every day there’s a story that they are about to divorce….Yawn. Lordy Britney just ditch the loser.


Then there’s all the pictures of her blubbing in public and on TV, Jeez! Britney have a bit of pride.

Even more worrying is what a mess Spears looks, who the hell keeps letting her out of the house dressed like trailer trash and in her curlers? Doesn’t she have help with this sort of thing?


So Britney pull it together honey. Iit’s easy!

All you have to do is, get a stylist and lose the curlers.

Then drop the husband and hang on to the baby (not the other way round!)
There easy! problems solved!

Now stop blubbing and pull yourself together.



Britney blubbing on TV

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London Gripped By Football Fever

A strange thing happened on my way home from work this evening. I left work at 4.45 we are currently working summer shifts 8-4 sounds fun and very continental doesn’t it? Actually it’s because we have no air conditioning and by 5pm the office has turned into Dante’s inferno and people are dropping in the heat! But anyway I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, so, I left the office and was immediately greeted with a cacophony of car horns, it seemed every lunatic driver in London was out and driving like maniacs! I also noticed that nearby offices were haemorrhaging people mostly middle aged men who were moving faster and sweating more profusely than any of them had done since 1974. What the hell was going on?

Aha! it dawned on me this mass exodus and loony driving was in fact not a terrorist attack or mass evacuation but an en masse attempt to get home or to the nearest pub with a TV, for the world cup and more precisely the England match.

Within 10 minutes the traffic slowed to a trickle and the streets were almost empty with the exception of the odd woman or gentleman, of the Cher enthusiast variety, emerging from buildings rather like cockroaches after a nuclear holocaust, to find the streets deserted. Every pub along the way was positively oozing testosterone as hordes of sweaty men crammed in to get a glimpse of the game and every so often a great collective roar or groan went up.

Was I suddenly taken with an urge to run home and drink a can of larger and chant Engerrrrlaaaand at the TV? No I was not! and in fact did my shopping in a nearly deserted Tesco…..bliss! And thought, what a shame that it’s only a football match, rather than World Hunger or The war in Iraq that can actually unite a nation and cause grown men to stop for a moment and share a collective purpose.

BTW Apparently we won 2-0

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Cher Pleads For Better Helmets!

C_Span is the washington Journal’s phone in show in the US. In a somewhat unlikely interview yesterday the one and only Cher went on air to plead for the charity, Operation Helmet…..no! get your mind out of the gutter! Operation Helmet is a charity that supplies Helmet upgrades for US troops in Iraq.

Apparently the relatively cheap upgrades protect the troops much better. Hmm, it seems somewhat sad that these have to be supplied by a charity and not the Army.
Cher was also at pains to point out that whilst many disapprove of the war it doesn’t mean they can’t support the troops. Here Here!

All very earnest I’m sure and whilst I salute her fabulousness for raising awareness of the issues facing our boys, over there. You have to admit how random is that? Cher and Troop Helmets are not words usually found in the same sentence….Cher and Sequins or Cher and Bob Mackie or Cher and Botox yes, but Cher and Troop Helemts!.

Surely the answer is for Cher to just donate all her old wigs especially the big 80’s ones now that really would be protective headgear! As well as ample cushioning it would scare the beejesus out of the enemy!

I usually prefer my Diva’s with fabulous outfits, tantrums, sequins and surgery, but hey! a conscience is good too!

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You Were Never Fuglier - Faye Dunaway

Now I’m a huge fan of Faye Dunaway but honey stop with the surgery! What the hell happened to you?

Now I’m sure it must be real hard getting older in Hollywood, especially when you were considered one of its great beauties, but is this really the answer?

Lordy! Those teeth look like they could chew through furniture (or scenery at least) she looks like a startled pony! and why oh why, cant these old girls learn that there’s a name for older women who still have long hair and that name is HAG!


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Danni and Kylie Minogue at G-A-Y

At the risk of sounding like a one fag, fan club you have to, albeit grudgingly, take your hat off to Mr Jeremy Joseph ….again!
This Saturday he managed to squeeze a Personal Appearance out of not one but two Minogue Sisters as Kylie joined her sister Danni at the end of her set at G-A-Y, to possibly, the most rapturous reception the club has ever seen.
Kylie looking absolutely fantastic, joined her sister for a few lines of her hit Jump to the Beat and the crowd went wild.
Whatever you say about Jeremy and there’s been enough sneering at him and his club over the years. The man is a great promoter who else can boast they snared Madonna, Christina, Mariah, Donna Summer and Debbie Harry and pretty much every major Diva in between to do PA’s for a London Club.

Now if they’d just play the odd tune that wasn’t by Stock, Aitken and Waterman the sneering might stop!



Some footage of the Minogue Sisters at G-A-Y or more accurately some footage of several thousand queens getting hysterical!

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Madonna - Flogging Cheap Crap - Again

Madonna is selling her soul again purveyors of ultra cheap, china made, tat, H&M have just announced she is to be the star of their new ad campaign throughout her confessions tour. The singer claims “Madonna and H&M it’s a perfect fit” Wel that’ll be a first for anything from H&M.
As part of the deal Her Madgesty and her crew will wear H&M off stage throughout the tour! I bet the crew are really thrilled about that! God they better have paid her a small fortune cos I can’t see Madge being happy wearing the tat they sell for the next few months. You can bet your life at the end of the tour she’ll have those rags off her back, faster than you can say Material Girl and in the nearest bin.

It was bad enough when she was flogging GAP but now H&M! at least her Versace ads you kinda believed she might actually use the product. I can’t see Madonna is going to become an H&M convertee and start wearing $5 tops and $20 jeans somehow?

What next we wonder the new face of K Mart?

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Unwelcome Gest

Sleazeball supreme David Gest the soon to be ex Mr Minnelli, just gave a name dropping marathon of an interview (everyone from Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson to Cherie Blair!) to The London Standard.
Do we detect a book deal in the offing?!
Needless to say Liza didn’t come off to well. After describing his first impression of her as being overweight, sweating and walking with a cane, he goes on to describe her as a violent drunk . All his tired old accusations of Liza causing him brain damage (he’s suing her for $10million for battery!) are raked up along with as much dirt as he could fling in one brief interview.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m sure Liza is no angel but it’s not like the whole world didn’t know she has addiction problems but this nasty piece of work needs to shut up. He met poor Liza at her lowest ebb recovering from a nearly terminal illness, afraid she would never sing again and overweight. Then he slimmed her down and shoved her out on stage and milked her for every cent he could get.
Then he has the nerve to fling accusations at her!
What Mr Gest needs to realize is that Liza, unlike him, is one of the greatest entertainers on earth. Anyone in any doubt of that should rent or buy her newly remastered Liza with a Z concert and watch a star give a truly amazing performance. She is descended from Diva royalty and if she wants to get drunk and hurl lamps then so be it, she is a Diva and we would expect nothing less.
Mr Gest even has the nerve to describe Liza as having a pug’s nose, hmmm take a look in the mirror freak!

Apparently Mr Gest has worked with every Diva from Ethel Merman (random!) and Dionne Warwick to Diana Ross. Luckily for them he didn’t marry them!
Mr Gest also denies he’s gay…..yeah right! And still works with Dionne Warwick , Stevie Wonder and Burt Bacharach. I don’t know what’s more shocking? That he claims to be straight or that Dionne Stevie and Burt have anything to do with this creep?
Luckily the Standard reporter saw straight through Mr Slime and after critisizing his plastic surgery and hair plugs pretty much called him a liar! Bravo! So crawl back under your rock Mr Gest and leave our Liza alone!

Liza with a Z trailer



Buy Liza with a "Z" - A Concert for Television (Collector's Edition)

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Ginger's Minger

It seems you can’t move these days for celebrity babies at the moment. Was there a power cut in Beverly Hills 9 months ago or something? Firstly it was Brooke Shields then it was the alien Tomkitten then Silo, Shilo, or whatever its called and finally Gwen Stefani dropped her sprog……..yawn!



However kudos to Geri Halliwell who in the midst of all this cooing over beautiful star babies managed to give birth to the ugliest baby in the world! Lord knows who the father of that was…..David Gest maybe?! To add insult to ugliness the poor little blighter has been saddled with the name Bluebell Madonna!

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Joan Crawford - Hollywood Martyr

Joan Crawford was the greatest of all Hollywood Stars and I will brook no argument on this point. I will concede she possibly wasn’t the greatest actress but she was the ultimate Star and Glamour Girl as she herself said “if you want the girl next door, go next door”

Over the years I have read every book published about her. From her own frank autobiography, a Portrait of Joan to her Daughter Dearest’s monstrous hatchet job and every sugar coated biography in between.

So far no one has written the definitive biography that this vastly underrated talent deserves. I would like to say David Bret’s new biography Joan Crawford Hollywood martyr is it but sadly we are still waiting for someone to do Joan real justice, however David Bret does take a good stab at it and for once explores, at length, her relationship with and adoration by, so many gay men and along the way gives us one hell of a gossipy and entertaining read. It may not be definitive but it’s definitely one of the better ones.

Many people only know of, or remember, Joan from Mommie Dearest her daughter Christina’s barbaric and cruel "memoir" written after her Mother’s death but we shouldn’t forget that in a career that starred her firstly, as a flapper in Silent films and progressed through Shop Girls, Businesswomen, Suffering Mothers and finally Scream Queens. Joan Crawford kept her Star Billing, Glamour and Fuck Me Shoes for over 50 years and was the undisputed Queen of Hollywood.

If you don’t know much about Crawford do yourself a favour and pick up David Bret’s book and learn what real stardom is all about.

Trailer for Joan in Torch Song



Buy The Book at Amazon Joan Crawford: Hollywood Martyr
Read more about Joan at Joan Crawford Queen of Camp
Visit the excellent site http://www.joancrawfordbest.com/

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Elizabeth Taylor Is Not Dead - Who Knew?

Elizabeth Taylor appeared on Larry King this week to refute rumours of her impending death and asked the question
“Do I look like I’m dying?”
Well now you come to mention it Liz…………

You can’t really blame Taylor for being cross the Daily Mail along with many other tabloids, at least once every six months claim she is close to death if not dead!

La Taylor also went on to refute claims she is suffering from Alzheimer’s although reports in The Daily Mail again! (See here) that she insists her gay butler service her sexually, dribbles and often forgets her own name would tend to suggest other wise!

If tabloid gossip wasn’t enough to suggest her senility On Larry King Liz claimed she and Michael Jackson are “very much alike”.
Hmmm, now, that’s not exactly going to make you sound sane now is it Liz?


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Maria Carey - Expensive Legs - Cheap Ho

Mariah Scarey is at it again, in possibly her most egotistical and crass publicity stunt yet, the demented diva has insured her legs for a whopping, one billion dollars! Yes you did read that correctly one billion dollars!

Good grief! Well you certainly can’t accuse Miss Scarey of being overly modest, that’s for sure!

Lets just hope the value of her legs wasn’t worked out in weight or another ballooning like she had a few months ago and we could be talking 3 billion dollars or more.

I think my fellow Blogger at Celebrity Smack summed it up nicely 1 billion dollar legs on a two dollar ho.

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Screen Queen-Some of what I'm watching this Month

Broken Flowers (2005)
MOMENTUM PICTURES HOME ENT
Starring:Bill Murray Jeffrey Wright Sharon Stone Tilda Swinton Julie Delpy Jessica Lange Frances Conroy Brea Frazier Jerry Fall
Director:Jim Jarmusch
Filmmaker Jim Jarmusch delivers one of his most pleasing, accessible pictures. Winner of the 2005 Grand Prix at the Cannes Film Festival, the film tells the story of Don Johnston (Bill Murray), a man overflowing with wealth but void of emotion. So Don sets off on a personal journey to visit the former partners who may or may not have mothered his child. My Thoughts
For those expecting another Lost in Translation this film will be a huge dissapointment. The film is paced so slowly that it’s almost in a coma and whilst, a plethora of supporting actresses attempt to enliven the proceedings, here and there, Bill Murray’s performance is so stagnant that you wonder why they bothered. Add to this an infuriating lack of answered questions and you have dud of a movie on your hands. Special mention, should be made, of the efforts, of old troupers Sharon Stone and Jessica Lange to add some spice but sadly their brief moments are not enough to salvage this dreary mess.
*** Stars
Buy the movie at Amazon
Broken Flowers [2005]

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
BUENA VISTA HOME ENTERTAINMENT
Starring:Bill Murray Owen Wilson Cate Blanchett Anjelica Huston Willem Dafoe Jeff Goldblum Michael Gambon
Director:Wes Anderson
This odd drama exists in the same strange, whimsical world as Rushmore or The Royal Tenenbaums. It's centred on famous oceanographer Steve Zissou (played by Bill Murray and obviously inspired by marine pioneer Jacques Cousteau), who embarks on a Moby Dick-style quest to hunt and kill the mysterious sea creature that ate his best friend.
My Thoughts
You either like Anderson’s films or you don’t and I’m afraid I don’t . I gave this one a shot because of Bill Murray but I should have learned my lesson with the equally odd Royal Tennebaums. This was more of the same, a few vaguely amusing scenes interspersed with a lot of very un-funny ones, a dreary plot and characters that grate on you. I got the feeling I should have liked it but something was missing (maybe a plot and decent characters)and I just couldn’t bring myself to. Well I won’t be sampling Mr Anderson’s work again.
** Stars
Buy the movie at Amazon
The Life Aquatic

Network (1976)
MGM HOME ENT. (EUROPE) LTD.
Starring:
Peter Finch Faye Dunaway William Holden Robert Duvall Wesley Addy Ned Beatty Beatrice Straight
Director:Sidney Lumet
A bravura performance from Finch, who was awarded a posthumous Oscar. He was given full flight by Paddy Chayefsky's daring, sumptuously satirical script. Finch plays an ageing anchor man driven to the brink, who announces his intended onscreen suicide to the nation, resulting in a ratings surge. Sidney Lumet directs with wild aplomb keeping up a furious pace.
My Thoughts
This film is pure genius, Finch is fantastic as the anchorman with great support from Bill Holden and Robert Duvall but it is Dunaway who sets the screen on fire as the rabidly ambitious executive who exploits this tragedy to build her powerbase. Why oh why can’t Dunaway get decent roles anymore? Maybe a few casting agents should take a look at this particular film and remind themselves just how great she is. She literally wipes everyone including Oscar winner Finch off the screen and very few contemporary actresses are able to raise a quarter of her intensity on screen. Somebody go watch this film then cast La Dunaway in the great role she deserves and save her from reality show crap like the Starlet!
**** Stars
Buy the movie at Amazon
Network [1976]

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Cheap & Cheerful - LeAnn Rimes at G-A-Y

Last Saturday whilst at a loose end in Soho, my friend Eric and I ventured into G-A-Y, Jeremy Joseph’s much maligned club.

I say much maligned cos everyone seems to knock G-A-Y. Now I have to admit the music was appalling at times and vaguely reminiscent of a working class wedding reception but the crowd are friendly the drinks are cheap and you have to hand it to Mr Joseph he has a roster of artists appearing there, that any promoter would kill for.

This week was the turn of LeAnn Rimes not exactly my favourite but with past acts including Kylie Minogue and sister Danni, Pink, (last week, see picture) Christina Aguilera, Donna Summer, Debbie Harry, Westlife, Blue, Steps and of course Madonna Mr Joseph can’t be accused of not giving value for money.



So whilst I won’t be making G-A-Y. my regular haunt, hats off to Mr Joseph for yet another pop coup and maybe it’s time everyone stopped knocking G-A-Y.

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The Line of Beauty

Normally I’m wary of TV adaptations of books I love but I have to say the BBC has come up trumps with its adaptation of Alan Hollinghurst’s Booker Prize winning novel The Line of Beauty.

Andrew Davies who has a history of bringing great novels to life has created a wondefully authentic slice of England under Thatcher in the 80’s and has stuck rigidly to the books story and themes and the results is a visually stunning and rich adaptation.

The story of Nick Guest a gay, middle class boy from Northampton, who via his friend Toby Fedden is thrust into a world of money, politics and grandeur which typify the era, only to have his world and that of those around him implode in as a result of excess and scandal.

The part of Nick Guest is played brilliantly by newcomer Dan Stevens of who I’m sure we are going to see much more, the rest of the cast are perfectly played and a visual feast especially Alex Wyndham as Wani. My only quibble is I had always pictured Bill Nighy or his type playing Gerald Fedden though Bill McInnery is perfectly adequate, he just wasn’t how I imagined the part. This small quibble aside it’s an excellent script and cast and shouldn’t be missed.

For those who need to catch up the first two parts are available for download on the BBC website and episode three is this weds on BBC2

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You Were Never Fuglier - Kirsten Dunst

Kirsten Dunst....well lets face it shes not what you'd call pretty anyway and doesn't do a lot to help herself. She was once quoted as saying "That's one of the things I like about me. Messed-up teeth are so sexy."

Hmm maybe after viewing pictures from the (badly received) premiere of her latest film, Marie Antoinette she'll feel differently!

Did she still think she was in Interview with a Vampire maybe?

Lordy Off with her head! or out with her teeth at least!

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Her Madgesty Trots Out The Same Old Nonsense

Hmmm has her Madgesty gone too far scream the papers?

Hardly….

The new much hyped and hideously expensive Madonna tour has lurched off across the US.
Firstly reports began filtering in of dissatisfied punters almost roasting to death cos Madge wouldn’t let them put on the air con! Apparently this is to save Madge’s voice? Since when did you need a voice to lip-sync? This sent temperatures over 100 degrees. Refunds were demanded on mass!

Then there’s all the hoopla about the crucifixion part of the show. As per usual the rent a gob Christians are out in droves claiming blasphemy, shock and anger! Madge must be delighted; in fact she probably hired them herself! The only thing shocking is that Madge is still trotting this tired old religious crap out and expecting a reaction. Yawn! Lordy girl give it up, if we aren’t outraged by now it’s never going to happen.

To be honest the thorn of crowns, Madge wears, says more about her ego than her ability to shock!
Like everyone else I’ll pay my bucks and go see the show when it trundles into town but for that price I expect to, not keel over in the heat and see something a bit more original!

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Diane keaton - Old is Good!

So L’Oreal Age-Perfect line of facial creams have signed comeback queen Diane Keaton as the face of their new ad campaign. In praise of older women is the theme of most of the coverage and everyone is heralding the fact that companies are wising up that older doesn’t necessarily mean less attractive.
What a load of tosh!
L’ Oreal like many companies have just realized that the Baby Boomers are getting older and the most powerful buying group is now moving into late middle age. Older is where the money is!
If cosmetic companies truly wanted to celebrate ageing gracefully why did MAC recently make Catherine Deneuve their new “face” only to airbrush her into oblivion!

A L’Oreal spokesperson burbled that "Diane has been a role model and a trendsetter for over three decades, and we feel that she is the perfect example to show that women can be beautiful, full of vitality and incredibly successful in every stage of their lives. She epitomizes what American women want. She's a natural beauty, nothing artificial. And she's comfortable with who she is."

Lets see just how much Diane gets airbrushed when her campaign hits the press, then we’ll see just how much L’ Oreal intend to celebrate her “natural beauty”!

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