Thursday, November 16, 2006

London Invaded By Plague Of Un-Wanted Visitors

Londoners are afraid to go out at the moment as a nasty plague of air heads, heiresses and tabloid whores seems to have descended on the capital. These pests known as Lohans, Hiltons Beyonce’s and Simpsons are everywhere and Londoners are advised to avoid them at all costs as many of them carry nasty diseases.

Scientists believe these creatures have been drawn to London from their native habitat of North America by a freak phenomena that takes place every few years at Earls Court (The World Music Awards) and by the presence in the capital of their Queen Bee (Wacko Jacko) who landed last week and built a nest at the Hempel Hotel, even the Royal Premiere of Casino Royale wasn’t safe as Dame Judi Dench found to her cost on Tuesday, when one of the nasty invaders buzzed around her as she stood on the red carpet.

Luckily Dame Judi managed to remain serene as always despite the attack. Experts warn the creatures are strangely drawn to glitter and lights especially at night and Londoners are advised to be extra vigilant in these kinds of areas.

The good news is that experts predict that as soon as the Queen Bee begins her migration the other minor drones will follow suit and London will be pest free again.

More Rank & Bile


Anonymous said...

lol! I love the way Judi is doing her best to try and ignore Paris presence in classy but definately hostile way!

Camp david said...

Do you think she even knows who Paris is?!